Posts tagged ‘Christianity’

May 21, 2011

Rapture AfterParty – Missing Theist Reports

The Rapture was yesterday and the ‘real’ believers should be gone to heaven and enjoying filet mignon, collard greens & peach cobbler with the Lord.

  • How many theists do you know that were raptured up on Saturday, May 21, 2011?
  • Did any theists leave behind notes to share with us unbelievers?
  • Did they sign over their assets to you?
  • Do you have plans to become a squatter at that nice cathedral on the corner since no one is using it anymore? It will make a nice condo community! It already has a nice wading pool that can be converted into a jacuzzi.
  • Should we place their photo’s on bottles of apple cider vinegar?

Please share your missing theist reports. 1 (310) 982-4273

Those of you who are missing relatives, friends, etc., please send us their pictures so that we can start a search party.

Those of you who went to the Rapture parties, please call and let us know how much of a good time you had.

Also, those of you who have co-workers who quit to go be with the Lord, please call us with the job listings.  We will be happy to refer, interview, and fill those unwanted positions.

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