- How many theists do you know that were raptured up on Saturday, May 21, 2011?
- Did any theists leave behind notes to share with us unbelievers?
- Did they sign over their assets to you?
- Do you have plans to become a squatter at that nice cathedral on the corner since no one is using it anymore? It will make a nice condo community! It already has a nice wading pool that can be converted into a jacuzzi.
- Should we place their photo’s on bottles of apple cider vinegar?
Please share your missing theist reports. 1 (310) 982-4273
Those of you who are missing relatives, friends, etc., please send us their pictures so that we can start a search party.
Those of you who went to the Rapture parties, please call and let us know how much of a good time you had.
Also, those of you who have co-workers who quit to go be with the Lord, please call us with the job listings. We will be happy to refer, interview, and fill those unwanted positions.